Greetings, it is another monday moring and of course I am in the office but, I have to take time to engage in this blog. Great conversation last week on a variety of platforms, now I am asking the question what makes a relationship a relationship? Is it the first time you have relations? Is it the first kiss? Is it a designated time in which you indulge yourself with a person? Ladies in particular, you get this all the time.....when you are just "kicking it" and after your night of relations, feelings get involved and next thing you know your trying to figure out where you stand. Trust that fellas get caught up but, we don't like to admit it hence the distance and the uncertainty of where things actually stand. Are one nighters annomalies (sp), are one nighter accepted, are one nighters ok? Is there every an occassion where a physical relationship makes sense or is warranted? There are many occasions (a past relatioship i.e.) were the commonality is a great physical attraction (a lot of unbeleivable nights, mornings, evenings, lunch, I digress) and there is not much socially....is it healthy to maintain that or just stay away from it? What if there is an immense social attraction that is not healthy to take any further even tho by thought it would make sense to try.
Until...................
About Me
- LUC
- http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-official-him-laws/6544094?productTrackingContext=search_results/search_shelf/center/1
2 comments:
It used to be that "one-night stands" were taboo, and deemed "inappropriate". Typically the female was labeled a whore and the male, well he was just "sowing his wild oats..." Now, with all the women's lib and independence movements you will find women, quite often, who aren't interested in too much more than getting the proverbial "itch scratched."
They don't believe that in this vain world that a man will be faithful anyway. Therefore, they've learned how to put feelings aside just like their male counterparts. With the emergence of shows like Sex In the City, that type of woman became a female "player" and it's not only acceptable but applauded. She never got her feelings involved therefore, she wasn't able to be hurt. She could move on just like a man could with all of her dignity intact. Society smiles upon power no matter the source, and a woman who can keep her emotions under control, is a powerful woman indeed.
Now, as for myself...call me old-fashioned. But I never liked "one-night stands." Keep in mind that my opinion also rests on whether or not you would sleep with a person based solely on physical attraction. For most women, there has to be more than that...mentally the other individual must stir her. So now her emotions are involved. No matter how great the moment(s) may have been you can't help but to wonder what the other person is thinking/feeling and if you settled for less than you really wanted. I don't believe that the majority of women have evolved past the desire to be loved. Therefore, the experience(s) can't be healthy if you're trying to suppress or counteract an innate desire. Somewhere down the line, someone...one of the parties involved, or anyone else that may be directly effected will get hurt.
Great topic, to answer your first question about what makes a relationship a relationship, I think it's not necessarily the first kiss, or the first time you have relations, but the understanding that you have with the person your with. You should have more than just a physical connection. You should be mentally stimulated by this person, intrigued by their personality, dreams, and goals, as well as be on the same page when it comes to what you both want for each other short and long term. If you both agree to exclusively be with the other person and no one else, then I guess you can consider that a relationship without titles or anything. It just varies from person to person when you get to the point of being in a relationship, but you definitely shouldn't just assume that since you have given yourself to someone that you are in a relationship. Often times, after you have been intimate, the question does arise and you wonder where you will go from there, but communication is the key.
Very great points HKKelly, I agree that I don't really care for one night stands, but I don't knock it either. I mean as long as you have an understanding with your "one night stander" that it is what it is, hopefully both parties are mentally strong enough to go on with their lives after it takes place. I do see females doing this more than ever before, some have gotten tired of men being able to do it and females being talked about when they do. However, I don't understand how some people do one night stands with COMPLETE STRANGERS. I mean, like you met someone while on vacation in Vegas or Cancun, or at a party and you just go home and get down to business. I know that alcohol does work magic, but I just can't get down with the thought of waking up in a strangers bed, trying to figure out what the heck I just did. It is different maybe if you know someone and because you may be at different places in your life, it's possible to agree to have one and move on, but like you said HKKelly, that is difficult ground to cover and uncertain territory because someone may get hurt. In that case, it may be best to just avoid it if it can't be handled... Great topic once again.
Post a Comment